sleepy....sleepy....slee.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I have been trying to figure out a workout schedule that works for me. I know I can't do it during the day - tried that. Not happening. I thought I could do it during the boys' naptime but that doesn't exist anymore (boo). I am don't really like exercising at night because my endorphins get all amped up and then I can't fall asleep. So the solution I came to was early morning.

I am not a morning person. I also hate going to bed early. But I really want to start getting healthy (honestly people. I'm really do fear that I'm killing myself slowly with my eating habits. But I'm not ready to change them yet. So maybe working out will counteract the amount of food I consume. Right? RIGHT?!?!?!) so I decided the early night / early morning route would be worth it. I decided I'll start waking up at 5:50 and go to the gym before Sam went off to work.

Morning 1, yesterday, was awesome. We went to bed at 10:30 (later than I wanted but still earlier than usual), and when my alarm went off I was so excited I just shot right up, got dressed and left. Worked out for about an hour (more on that momentarily, it's SUPER exciting. for me at least) and then came home and stretched. I had so much energy all day. I was REALLY SORE, but I had so much energy. It was such a good day, I knew I'd made the right decision and was full of a new sense of accomplishment.

But you know how when you're supposed to be doing something, the adversary steps in and just makes everything a pain in the butt until you just don't think it's worth it anymore? Yeah. Well, day 2, enter my adversary - sleep deprivation.

I wanted to go to bed early again, but I also wanted to find my ipod to take to the gym with me. I stayed up until almost 11 looking for the stupid thing, and then went to bed pretty miffed that I couldn't find it. But I did finally go to bed. Fast forward to 4 in the morning. Trevor woke up screaming. I laid there for about 5 or 6 minutes hoping he'd just go back to sleep but it just escalated. So I went in, put his binky back in his mouth, covered him up with his blanket and left. Still screaming. Repeat. 3 - 5 times. By about 4:45, after a diaper change, blanket change, etc. I decided he might just be hungry (he has NEVER in his whole life had a middle of the night feeding with the exception of 2 or three nights. It's very very rare) so I made him a bottle. He was starving (poor thing) and just gulped it down. I had him back in bed just before 5. But all the fuss had woken David up so when I went to put Trevor back down David started crying because he wanted his toys and I told him it wasn't morning yet so he had to go back to sleep. So David and Trevor just laid in their beds crying until they finally fell asleep. It was actually pretty funny, but I knew I was going to be tired. Anyway, at this point I knew I was going to be waking up in under an hour and started getting a slight bit of anxiety (stupid, I know) and couldn't fall asleep. I didn't fall asleep until about 5:30. My alarm went off 20 minutes later and I just decided to skip today. Then I realized that it's only day two and if I throw in the towel today, I'll never do this. So I made myself get out of bed and go to the gym. It was a slow work out, I was really dragging. But I think even just going through the motions is going to teach me an invaluable lesson in self sacrifice, and hopefully instill a habit. I still got 45 minutes of cycling in, so it was worth it.

But now I can't keep my eyes open. I guess I'll have to get to bed by 9 tonight to make up for it. Oh well, onward. I'm sure none of this was interesting, but I just thought I'd throw it on out there to the universe to have some responsibility. Maybe if I feel like I have to "check in" every day with my workout, I'll be less likely to skip out. 2 days down, many many more to go!

*As far as the super exciting story of my first workout, it is as follows (you probably won't find it exciting, it just made me so happy I want to record it):

I actually enjoy exercise when it's aerobic or artistic. I like pilates and yoga and dance. Very very much. I don't like weight lifting or anything of the sort. But my most dreaded exercise is running. I hate it. I've never been able to do it. I have sport induced asthma and every time I try to run it kicks in and can be pretty painful. So I just don't do it. But I've always had amazing respect for people who do. The amount of time, dedication, discipline and sacrifice it takes to master it just astounds me. Lately I have been very envious of this, so I decided I want to start running. I really enjoy doing things I don't want to do because I think it makes us better people to sacrifice what we want for something that's good for us. So running it is.

Now I am a beginner runner. And when I say beginner I mean it. I've never so much as run a mile. Now I've gone further than a mile, obviously, like walking and stuff. But I've never in my life run a straight mile. Not even in highschool. I've always walked in there somewhere. So my goal for the week was to run a mile. Without stopping. I ran my first morning and could tell that my body had been craving the exercise. It felt so good. So good in fact, that the running was relatively easy. I mean it burned. Bad. But no asthma! It was so exciting. So I am now proud to say that I have officially RUN A MILE!! Yay! I know that's kind of pathetic and may not seem like much, but it has been a really big deal to me and I was so so jubilant! I was actually so excited when I hit the mile mark that I started laughing and kind of celebrating and then I was embarrassed. Luckily I was alone. Ha ha ha ha! Anyway, I ended up running 3 miles that day (well, 1.5, walk for 3 minutes, run to 2.25, walk 2 minutes, run to 2.85, walk the rest to 3 as a cool down). That's the most I've ever run, ever, in my entire life. It was like a hurdle overcome for me and I was walking on air all day. Sorry, like I said, it's probably not that exciting, but I wanted to document it. I was elated.

So there you have it, 3 miles yesterday, 45 min of cycling today. I'll check back tomorrow to document what I've done.

I really like this blog because even if no one else reads it, I can get on here and track what I've been doing and how far I've come. I was surprised to find yesterday that I'd lost 15 pounds, 3 1/2 inches in my bust, 4 inches in my waist, and 4 1/2 inches in my hips over the last 8 months! I didn't even realize it! So this will be a fun way to track how in shape I'm getting too.